Or something like it. I really don't know anymore.

In fact, I haven't been knowing a lot lately. To be precise it's like there a pit right beneath my stomach and all my internal organs got Sparta-kicked into it.

School is obviously a reason. My theatre teacher is nice enough, I guess. My math teacher *yells constantly* so my ears are ringing and I have a headache everytime I leave his class. My sociology teacher *never shuts the fuck up*. If he would tell us the point he's trying to make instead of droning on and on and on and on, maybe I wouldn't be so annoyed by it, but I want to yell at him and say, "STFU and get on with it, sir." My English teacher seems to be my saving grace, sanity wise, although the workload and my classmates (I.E. juniors who spell "because" as "b/c" on paper and not texts) may ruin whatever creative freedom I have left. I can barely draw anything resembling fanart anymore unless someone makes a flatout request, and as for fanfiction, pfff. Not happening anytime soon.

My mother, bless her, seems to like making me feel like the worst being to ever spawn into existance on accident. So it's my fault my father doesn't want anything to do with me? So it's my fault that, when he moves in TEN MINUTES AWAY FROM MY HOUSE he doesn't call to say, "Hey D, guess where I'm living now!"?

I'm alienated from my friends now. It feels like those tiny threads that have held us together throughout the years is slowly coming apart and I'm losing them and--jeez. Hell, I've probably already lost Lena--I don't see her until five minutes at lunch, and we don't keep in contact outside of school to be honest.And she always seems to be in a relationship with an asshole who only wants her for her body--and once he realizes that she isn't an easy lay, they cheat on her, they abuse her, they belittle her, and she *doesn't stop being with them*. And it hurts so bad because I love her--not romantically, but she's my family.

.....oh jeez, what a wangst-fest that was. Sorry for wasting your time and your internets, my good friends. Ignore this journal entry, save yourself. XD;;